


Come Here Anytime

by kinoface



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Blindfolds, Bondage, Kink Exploration, Light Bondage, M/M, Nipple Play, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Painplay, Porn With Plot, Sex Toys, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-18
Updated: 2013-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-20 13:05:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinoface/pseuds/kinoface
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After discovering that Aiba is an S, Jun needs some time to adjust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Here Anytime

**Author's Note:**

> I should be writing half a dozen other things, but this fic took over my brain and wouldn't let go. It was not directly inspired by but might not exist without [Fault](http://archiveofourown.org/works/824901) by Phrenk which is glorious and which I strongly recommend if Jun subbing for Aiba is something you enjoy. Other inspirations include [this meme prompt](http://kinoface.dreamwidth.org/49054.html?thread=181662#cmt181662) by a mysterious anon, and the "experiments that aren't Aiba's idea" square on my rainbowfilling card.
> 
> A content warning for people like me who are defensive about, and easily upset by the shaming of, kink: This is a story about one person in a relationship not liking the other's kink, and both of them eventually trying to make it work. In a few places there is some language that could be considered kink-shaming. Also please remember that this is just a fic and not meant as ~a lecture~ on how ~all people~ should handle kink in their relationships. The only thing I would ever suggest ~all people~ do is be excellent to one another, in whatever way makes sense to them as individuals with individual needs and desires. ♥
> 
> And, finally, a little spoiler: Just for the record, there are items/activities mentioned early on that don't actually end up being featured in full detail. I point this out because I hate looking forward to something in a fic only to be disappointed when it doesn't show up. :Db If you want a more specific idea of what to expect, check out the tags; if it's not there, it's not in the fic.
> 
> Songs I listened to a lot while writing this:  
> → "I LOVE YOU" by 2NE1 (when you feel like there's no way out, love is the only way)  
> → "Submission" by the Sex Pistols (I can't figure out your watery love)  
> → "The No Seatbelt Song" by Brand New (it's only you, beautiful, or I don't want anyone)  
> → "It Takes a Muscle" by MIA (come and pick up my love)  
> → "Need You Tonight" by INXS (I need you tonight 'cause I'm not sleeping)  
> → "Animal" by Empires (you've been sweet but can you show me rough)  
> → "Pull My Hair" by Bright Eyes (the truth is that I can hardly wait)  
> → "Rude Boy" by Rihanna (tonight I'ma let you do your thing)  
> → "B R Right" by Trina f. Ludacris (yup, everything's gonna be all right)  
> → "Come Back to Me" (感じるまま beautiful)
> 
> Beta'd by the wonderful Phrenk, who deserves at least one million hearts. Here is a sample: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

**0**

For all that Aiba likes to create nicknames for people he's just met, for all that he cracks lewd jokes to see how many Juniors he can make blush, for all that he is _Aiba-chan_ , their goofy and harmless Aiba-chan, he can actually be rather private when it comes to certain aspects of his life.

Jun has known this for a long time, but he's never fully realized it until now.

Aiba is twenty-five years old, Jun twenty-four for only a few months longer, and though they've been holding hands and kissing and messing around and having sex for years, it's only recently that they've made the choice to dedicate themselves to each other and make their relationship official. Jun doesn't really like the word "boyfriend"; it seems too trivial for how close they are after all this time, how much he would love Aiba even if there weren't any romantic or sexual inclinations attached. Maybe "partner" is a more apt term. That's what they've always been: partners in those confusing Junior years, partners in all that Arashi entails including living under the constant scrutiny of a nation, partners in Aiba's ridiculous experiments, partners whenever Aiba starts crying about something and Jun can't help but join in... And now, after nearly ten years together, they are partners in this as well.

Jun has no regrets — he has never seriously regretted _anything_ about his choice to spend time with, be intimate with, or dedicate himself to Aiba — but putting a title to their relationship has come with its own set of anxieties. Navigating the subtle but significant differences between "I want to have sex with you" and "I want to have sex with you and no one else" has been tricky in places. Boundaries they grew used to have been erased so they can draw new ones; questions they never even considered before seem to pop up at every turn. It hasn't been difficult, per se, but it hasn't exactly been a piece of cake either.

So when Jun goes rummaging through the bottom drawer of Aiba's nightstand one evening on a quest for condoms and stumbles upon a collection of items he didn't realize Aiba owned or even thought about, well, he's startled to say the least.

At first all he can do is stare, stunned by a potent cocktail of curiosity and apprehension. Then he shoves the drawer closed as if its contents might jump out at him, forcibly pushing the thought of them to the back of his mind.

He finally finds the condoms in the _top_ drawer and grabs half a dozen so he can return to his task. Today marks six months since they made their decision, on the chilly night of Aiba's birthday after rowdy festivities, way too much booze, and two tearful confessions, and Jun is celebrating by surprising Aiba with a candlelit dinner in his own apartment. Aiba is still out working, but he should be heading home soon, and Jun wants to check "strategically hide condoms around the apartment" off his to-do list before he sets the table.

He finishes his preparations and lights the candles just as Aiba is unlocking the door. Aiba's face is always so expressive; Jun can tell immediately that he is shocked and delighted by what Jun has done for him. The first condom, tucked into one of Aiba's slippers, is put to good use before they even touch their food.

**·**

What he saw that night stays there in the corners of his mind, lingering like hard-to-reach cobwebs. He tries to forget, reasoning that if Aiba hasn't told him about it, then Aiba must not want him to know, but that thought isn't any more comforting. They're _partners_ , after all — ever since they were teenagers, but now especially. Why would Aiba purposefully hide something from Jun if it's important enough to keep at his bedside?

It's a few weeks before they manage to have another quiet night at Aiba's place. They've just finished dinner, and now they're leaning against each other on the couch, sipping from cans of beer and laughing at some variety show they flipped to after News Zero ended. Jun has been gathering courage all night, and it's during a commercial when he finally turns to Aiba and says, "I need to tell you something important."

Aiba looks a little surprised but doesn't say anything as he mutes the television.

"When I made you dinner a few weeks back, before you got home I was looking for something and I found your, um..." Jun mentally rehearsed those words at least ten times, but he realizes now that he always glossed over this part. What does he even call those things? He stutters embarrassingly for a few seconds before finally mumbling, "The stuff in your bottom drawer."

For one heart-stopping second, Aiba looks concerned, but then his face lights up with a grin. "What did you think?"

That's a question Jun has been asking himself ever since it happened, and he still hasn't arrived to a satisfactory conclusion. Perhaps it would be most accurate to say that he thought _lots_ of things, but instead he settles for "I'm not sure," which is simpler and mostly true.

Something about Aiba's expression changes in a way Jun can't quite make sense of. "Curious?" he offers.

Jun nods.

Aiba asks, "Do you want to try them out?", with his smile slowly widening and his eyes all lit up like he's just thought of some outrageous new question for A no Arashi. Jun must have taken too long in thinking about his answer, because suddenly Aiba sets down his beer and grabs Jun's wrist to tug him off the couch. "Let's go look," he says. "Maybe that will help you decide!"

Jun isn't convinced it will, but, as always, he can't help but be swept up in Aiba's enthusiasm.

Soon they're sitting on opposite ends of Aiba's bed, with all those things Jun saw that night spread between them. Some would be inconspicuous on their own, while others are things Jun has only ever seen in the filthiest porn he's ever ventured to lay eyes upon. When they're all laid out together like this, the intent is unmistakable. 

There's one silver roll of duct tape and one green; a handful of wooden clothespins; two small clips connected by a long, thin chain; a heavy-duty leather blindfold; two gags, one with a ball and one with a ring; a sturdy-looking pair of metal handcuffs, and four individual cuffs made of leather; and something small, orange, and egg-shaped that's attached by a wire to a tiny control unit.

Aiba is grinning, as proud and happy as a kid overlooking his prized collection of limited-edition action figures.

That just makes Jun feel even more nervous.

There are too many ideas, emotions, and hypothetical situations racing through his mind for him to sort them out any time soon, but Aiba keeps looking at him like he's supposed to say something, so he grabs at a random thought as it flits past and spits it out: "Are you, um...?" He tries to come up with some kind of gesture that would make sense, but he just ends up waving his hands around vaguely.

Aiba laughs. "I'm on top, if that's what you're wondering."

"Ah." Jun is trying very hard and probably failing spectacularly not to blush. "And have you... topped... other guys?"

Aiba nods excitedly. "Yeah, old boyfriends — even once or twice with Yoko." Jun balks at those words, but Aiba just keeps going. "Remember Ryuchi?"

None of the other four members of Arashi ever actually met Ryuchi, but they heard plenty about him. He was one of Aiba's high school friends and, later, his first serious boyfriend, the one who decided he couldn't deal with dating an idol after all and broke it off right before Aiba turned twenty-one. Jun remembers how heartbroken Aiba was at the time; now, the smile on his face is fond as he reaches out to touch the ring gag, tracing his fingertips along the curve of the leather. "He bought me this."

Jun doesn't know what to say.

After another moment of reminiscing, Aiba laughs and picks up the handcuffs, the plain metal pair like the kind policemen carry around on TV. "And Nino bought me these for my twentieth birthday."

Jun is not prepared for the way those words sting. "Nino knows?"

"Oh, yeah," Aiba says, still holding the cuffs, still smiling like it's no big deal. "And trust me, I know more than my fair share of what he does with his girlfriends, so we're even."

It obviously doesn't mean anything to Aiba, but to Jun, it feels like more than he can handle. How is it even possible that Nino has known all these years while Jun is only just now finding out? Why did Aiba never mention it to him? For fuck's sake, they've been giving each other blowjobs for nearly as long as Aiba's had that ring gag — he never once wanted to ask Jun to put it on?

At that thought, an entire new wave of uncharted emotion comes crashing over him. The thought of actually wearing the gag makes his stomach clench up. The thought of having _any_ of those things used on him — of not being able to speak or see or have any control over what's happening to him —

"Hey, Matsujun, it's okay." Aiba reaches across the bed to grasp Jun's hands, pulling him up from the undertow. Suddenly Jun sees the way Aiba is looking at him, the way his eyes are so intent on Jun's as if he's searching for something. "I'm sorry I never told you. It just didn't seem like something you'd be into."

Jun squeezes Aiba's hands and thinks carefully before he says, "You're not wrong."

He's not sure if the smile on Aiba's face is a little sad or if he's just imagining it. He _is_ smiling, though, and he pulls Jun forward to kiss him softly. "It's okay," he says again. "Why don't you go find a movie for us to watch, and I'll put these away for now, and if you decide that you don't want to try them tonight or ever, that's fine. I promise it's fine."

There are tears pricking Jun's eyes and he can't tell, from the myriad emotions currently overwhelming him, which one in particular is to blame. All he knows is that it's too much right now. He forces his mouth into a smile and squeezes Aiba's hands again before gingerly picking himself up and going to find a movie like Aiba suggested. He doesn't say anything as he leaves; he's afraid of what might come out if he tries.

**·**

Things feel awkward between them for a while, admittedly of Jun's own doing. He can't help that he's reminded of it at every turn — when they watch an action flick where the hero gets tied up, when they have to answer stupid interview questions about what they look for in a girl, when Aiba gets bossy on national television, when they're having sex and a voice in the back of Jun's mind traitorously whispers, _What is he thinking about right now?_

When Jun wraps his arms around Aiba's shoulders, does Aiba imagine tying him down? When Jun lifts his head up from the pillows to watch Aiba kiss a path down his stomach, does Aiba wish he were blindfolded? When Jun finally relaxes enough to take Aiba to the back of his throat, does Aiba think about how much better it would be if Jun were wearing that ring gag? Each unpleasant imagining segues into an equally unpleasant emotion, and it always starts here:

He could barely stand that half-assed bondage and flimsy gag for Hanadan, and that was when he was surrounded by his manager and a troupe of ADs and all sorts of other people whose job it was to make sure he was comfortable. He can't even fathom, nor does he particularly want to, what it would be like to be truly restrained and left alone with someone who could do _anything_ to him. But then that revulsion trickles down into guilt. No matter how Jun feels about it, it's obviously something Aiba enjoys, and isn't it selfish of Jun to deprive him of that experience? Of course there were other people he could go to before, but now that they've chosen to stay monogamous... From there the guilt expands and warps, evolving like a virus until he finds himself squaring up against the worst offender by far: jealousy.

They're _partners_ , Jun's brain yells indignantly. They're Crybaby Team! Not Aiba and Nino. Not Aiba and Yoko. Not Aiba and Ryuchi or any other ex-boyfriend or random hook-up. It's unfair that all of _them_ got to see this side of Aiba while Jun was left to wander around without a clue only to be blindsided by it years later.

In the last rational corner of his mind, Jun is aware that he's blowing the entire matter out of proportion. He knows Aiba would never hurt him, that Aiba isn't going to leave him over this, and that Aiba never meant to keep secrets from him. But that knowledge doesn't stop him from being upset.

**·**

Of course, there's no way Jun can expect to skulk around unhappily and not be noticed by Aiba, who is much wiser than his on-screen character leads people to believe and who is, after all, invested in Jun's emotional well-being. The next time the five of them go out drinking, all it takes is a few rounds and some offhand remark from Sho about not wanting to publicly discuss personal matters before Aiba is turning to stare pointedly at Jun and saying, "Well maybe some things _should_ be discussed."

Jun assumes at the time that Nino is somehow more sober than everyone else, but later he'll realize that Nino probably already knows about what's going on. That's why he drags Sho and Ohno out of their cozy corner booth, announcing in a voice not to be argued with that it's time for a smoke break.

Aiba is talking before they're even out of sight. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, okay? I know I should have. I was just waiting for the right time, but I kept getting scared that you'd be upset."

He stumbles over the word "upset," as if it's not quite what he meant to say but was the best he could come up with. If Jun were as sober as he thinks Nino is, that little stutter might stand out as something important, and it might stop him from saying what he says next.

"I'm upset _now_ , Masaki." At the horrified look on Aiba's face, he at least has the wherewithal to reassure him, "I'm not, like, ready-to-break-up-with-you upset or anything. It's just that we've been together for so long, and now we're really _together_ together, and suddenly here's this thing I never knew about you. I mean, I don't even know if it's just a thing you do occasionally or if it's..." He trails off, losing steam and unsure of how to phrase the nebulous idea in his head.

In the sudden quiet of their booth, Aiba says, "It's more than that."

Something about the tone of Aiba's voice — hushed, almost secretive — strikes Jun as odd. Through the warm haze of alcohol, he can feel an idea forming in his mind and he's not sure yet what it is, but it seems far too significant to ignore.

"I know people can't really tell," Aiba continues, "since I don't seem like — like the kind of person who'd want to hurt other people, but..."

Hurt other people? That can't be right. His Aiba-chan would never hurt anyone, not really. Jun sits up a little straighter, ready to slow Aiba down, but Aiba just keeps going, too impassioned now to be stopped.

"It's a big part of who I am, that's true." Aiba reaches across the table to link his fingers through Jun's. "But it's not the _only_ part. I need you to get that. I've been with you this whole time without it and I've been happy — I'll be happy for the rest of my life as long as I'm with you, Matsujun, do you understand? I don't care if you think I'm crazy —"

"But Aiba-chan, I don't thi—"

"I don't even care if you don't like some of the things I like. That doesn't make us a bad fit."

Finally, the pieces come together. The words spill out before Jun even realizes he's saying them: "But Aiba-chan, you're not bad for liking it, either. You know that, right?"

And then something happens that Jun isn't expecting.

Aiba begins to cry.

**·**

The others return to find that Jun has moved to Aiba's side of the booth and is comforting him as his own tears start to fall. They make the usual Crybaby Team jokes, and then Sho calls cabs for everyone while Ohno snoozes on Nino's shoulder. Aiba calms down soon after, but he's still sniffling when his cab finally arrives. The last thing he says to Jun, peeking out from the open window of the backseat, is "I love you."

After that night, Jun reaches several distinct but equally important conclusions.

Conclusion number one: Aiba is easygoing and loyal, and on top of that, he is honest. If he says that he doesn't need those things in order to live a happy, fulfilling life with Jun, then Jun has to trust him. He owes him that much at the very least.

Conclusion number two: Aiba shared that part of himself with people like Yoko and Ryuchi because they had compatible interests. Even Nino, who is close with all of them but has a special kind of brotherly relationship with Aiba, has only known for so long because Aiba tells him _everything_ , usually before he tells anyone else. Why should Jun be upset about this if he wasn't upset when Nino knew Aiba liked boys before Jun did, or when Nino knew Aiba liked _Jun_ before Jun did?

Conclusion number three, the most profound of the set: Aiba keeping that part of his life from Jun was never really about Jun at all; it was about Aiba trying to protect himself. If there's anyone in Aiba's bizarre circus of a life who should be able to understand that, it's Jun — Jun who grew up feeling like he had to apologize for everything he did, Jun who keeps so much bottled inside because he's terrified of what people might think of him, Jun who prides himself on being Aiba's partner in all things.

So Jun gets over it. He moves on. He spends the next six months telling Aiba that he loves him at every opportunity, and he means it every time. On Aiba's twenty-sixth birthday, they have dinner at Aiba's apartment and celebrate their first 365 days as an official, monogamous couple, until Aiba starts weeping tears of happiness, and Jun, as always, is helpless to keep from joining in. They are both comforted by the knowledge that they'll be crying like babies together for many years to come.

When Aiba gets in the shower that night, Jun tiptoes into the bedroom and slides open the bottom drawer of Aiba's nightstand to peek inside. The things he saw before are gone. All he sees now are little odds and ends, half-filled notebooks and lonely socks and all the things Aiba has found to fill a space that used to be occupied by something else.

Jun closes the drawer and forgets.

**0.5**  


Four and a half years later, he remembers.

The truth, of course, is that he never really forgot. He just pushed it to the back of his mind, to the section labeled Done and Over With, To Be Kept for Personal Records. It resurfaces on occasion, like when Jun is filming a drama scene in which his character gets pinned down, or when he borrows Aiba's laptop to look something up and the search engine helpfully suggests a porn site Aiba has visited. Jun views these reminders through a detached, clinical lens: _Ah, this is a thing Aiba-chan might find attractive,_ or _It appears Aiba-chan did not take seriously that article I sent him about deleting one's search history._ It is never a big deal, and it certainly never comes up in conversation. Nor does the way Jun sometimes lies awake remembering that night at the bar and how Aiba started crying so suddenly. Nor the way Jun wonders, whenever someone mentions Aiba's kind heart, if Aiba really believes it to be true.

For a long time, Jun is perfectly content to ignore all of these occurrences. He doesn't think about them very deeply because, as far as he's concerned, he doesn't need to. Because Aiba told him it was okay. Because Aiba is a grown man, he is Jun's partner, and Jun trusts him to make that kind of decision. And because if that's what Aiba wants, Jun is only too happy to follow along.

For a long time, that's how it goes.

And then, quite suddenly, as changes of this sort often happen, it goes a bit different.

**·**

In May, an interviewer asks, "The five of you have a strong reputation of never fighting. How do you manage to work so smoothly at all times?", to which Jun gives a lengthy, thoughtful response about acceptance and patience. Aiba simply smiles and says, "Compromise."

In June, at Nino's birthday celebration, Aiba brings one real gift, a copy of the latest video game Nino's been coveting, signed by the creator of the series, and a joke gift: a huge folded-up tarp. No one else gets it, but Aiba and Nino laugh until they fall over.

In July, Aiba sends Jun a message that reads, _For years you've been giving me everything I've ever wanted. Please let me know your birthday wish so I can give you something you want, too~~~~_

Perhaps more than any of them, Jun is distinctly aware of just how much people can change in the span of a few years. He is not the same person he was at twenty-five, nor was he then the same person he was at twenty. If he had to put words to it, he'd say that now, when he's barely a month away from turning thirty, the main difference is that he has learned to not be so uptight.

 _Stressed out_ , Aiba would correct him. Aiba loves to put a positive spin on things if it means making someone feel better. But Jun is done sugarcoating.

In August, he decides.

**·**

A few weeks before his birthday, he invites Aiba over for dinner. Afterwards, when he's rinsing bowls so Aiba can load them into the dishwasher, he finally shoves down his fear and asks outright, "Do you still have that stuff?"

Aiba glances up at him, shrugging. "What stuff?"

After so much time spent not thinking about it, Jun still isn't sure what to call the things he saw all those years ago. Aiba's collection? His tools? His toys? When he catches Aiba looking at him expectantly and realizes he's frowning, he clears his throat and tries to project confidence as he says, "Your tape and stuff."

For a moment Aiba just stares at him, brow furrowed like Jun has spoken to him in some alien tongue. His face stays like that for long enough that Jun begins to wonder if he's gone crazy and has made the whole thing up. But then Aiba's mouth stretches into a smile, big and genuine. "Yeah," he says. "I still do."

The guilt comes bubbling up again, but Jun stubbornly pops each bubble before it has a chance to grow. "Do you ever think about it?" he asks, continuing to rinse dishes with the hope that if he acts nonchalant, he'll start to feel that way too.

"What do you mean? Think about it how?"

"Like do you think about what you used to do, is it something you want to get back into, do you fantasize about it... Anything."

Aiba starts to answer, then closes his mouth and regards Jun thoughtfully. When he tries again, he speaks slowly, as if he's giving Jun room to change his mind. "Yes, I fantasize about it."

"When we're together?"

"Sometimes."

"Do you miss it?"

This time, instead of answering, Aiba closes the front of the dishwasher and leans against it, arms crossed over his chest. "What's this about?" he asks, narrowing his eyes at Jun.

Jun shrugs as he turns off the water and turns to face Aiba fully. "I'm just curious," he says. At Aiba's continued staring, he adds, "You don't have to hold back for my sake. I'm asking because I want to know."

Slowly, Aiba uncrosses his arms, lowering them along with his suspicious expression. "I do miss it," he says. "Not in a way that I'm upset about it or anything. It's just that, you know, I told you back then that it was important to me, and that never really went away."

"I understand," Jun says, and he means it. He takes a deep breath, preparing for the next part, but it's Aiba's grateful smile that gives him the push he needs to get the words out. "What if I told you that I want to... experiment?"

Aiba laughs as if Jun has told a joke he doesn't fully understand — as if he doesn't quite believe it. "Are you messing with me?"

"I've been thinking about it a lot lately," he explains, "what with my birthday coming up, and I just want..."

There are many ways he could finish that sentence, each one as true as the next: _I want to apologize. I want to make it up to you. I want to make this right._

He finally says, "I want to give you this."

Aiba's smile shrinks by a fraction, but Jun recognizes it as the face he pulls when he's trying to appear serious. "So you're telling me..." He strides away from the dishwasher, reaching out to pull Jun into his arms. "For your birthday, _you_ want to give _me_ a present?" He sweeps Jun's bangs off his face, fingers stroking gently. Then he presses his palm flat against Jun's forehead. "Are you feeling all right?"

Jun ducks away and swats Aiba over the head. "I'm perfectly fine, thank you. Just think of it this way: your gift to me is helping me make you happy." Aiba has always been a sucker for romance; at the giddy look on his face, Jun hastens to add, "But nothing crazy! Beginner-level stuff."

"Don't worry, Matsujun," Aiba says in a tone that doesn't sound particularly reassuring. "I'll figure something out for both of us to enjoy. Trust me."

Jun does.

**·**

They set a date at Aiba's for next week, and in the meantime Jun uses every spare moment — which, considering his schedule, doesn't actually amount to much — to research what he's just gotten himself into. He learns a lot of new vocabulary, words like "scene" and "safeword" and "risk-aware." He learns that the experience of giving control of one's body over to someone else, of trusting that person completely, can be as exhilarating as the high of a drug, and that once the endorphins wear off, the come-down can be just as brutal. He finds a whole collection of articles written about aftercare and how important it can be, especially for people who feel particularly vulnerable after a scene. Jun wonders if he'll be one of those people. It's a bit overwhelming to think about, but he reminds himself that he _does_ trust Aiba completely, and that no matter what, Aiba will know how to take care of him.

Two nights before their date, his phone pings with a message from Aiba: _If you haven't already, look up orgasm denial and pain play. (That's an order~!)_

Jun laughs fondly, but the laughter fades as he reads more about what Aiba apparently has in store for him. The orgasm denial sounds infuriating but doable, but he has to think harder about the pain play. He likes to think he has a pretty high tolerance for pain, and he's always been a bit of a thrill-seeker, but when he stumbles upon a video of a man tied to a pole and sobbing from having his ass caned, he shrinks down in his chair.

He hastily sends, _How much pain?_

Aiba responds, _You tell me._

Jun looks back at the video paused on his screen and thinks: not that.

Curiosity leads him from there to a list of related terms: role play, consent play, pet play... That last one inspires an image of Aiba calling him Momo and leading him around on a leash. Jun scowls and clicks the back button. After that, he tries to imagine what it really will look like; he superimposes Aiba's face onto all of those burly, leather-clad caricatures he's seen over the years, but that doesn't seem right. It doesn't seem like his Aiba-chan.

That's when he becomes aware of the extent to which he had blocked out this part of Aiba's life. For all he knows, that _is_ his Aiba-chan. All he ever allowed himself to see was what Aiba had in that drawer, and although it seemed like a lot at the time, he's starting to realize that it didn't tell him very much at all.

Guilt, so familiar by now, coils tight in Jun's stomach.

In an attempt to distract himself, he switches gears and does an image search instead. Some of what he sees looks terrifying and depicts things he's pretty sure he'll never agree to. Some of it looks interesting enough that he might be willing to try. The more he scrolls, the more the images start to bleed together — just a lot of naked, tied-up bodies. But there is one naked, tied-up body that finally catches his attention. It's a photo of a man with his arms tied behind his back, nothing unusual all on its own, but the composition of the image makes it feel different somehow. The braided white rope is wrapped around the man's wrists and laced up his arms to create an intricate pattern that holds his elbows close together and accentuates the broad line of his shoulders. It's gorgeous.

That leads Jun to investigate site after site dedicated to rope bondage, each one filled with depictions of people in varying positions, lines of rope crossing and looping to form complex designs constructed to highlight the inherent beauty of the human form. Jun tries to imagine how it might feel to be tied like one of the men in those photos, his body transformed into an exquisite work of art, on display for Aiba to ogle and worship.

That, he thinks, is something he could definitely get into.

**1**

The day of their date arrives, and although Jun is as professional as ever in front of the camera, in his private moments he feels nervous and jittery. All of Arashi gets together in the afternoon for a meeting to discuss concert plans; Aiba arrives early with two steaming to-go cups of Jun's favorite blend from a little tea shop down the street, and they sip in comfortable silence and hold hands under the table until everyone else shows up. Jun does feel a little better after that, but his nerves return as the sun sets over the Tokyo skyline. By the time he's standing at Aiba's door, his heart is thumping anxiously in his chest despite the bright smile Aiba greets him with.

They settle on the couch and chat for a while, about the interesting parts of their day, about their thoughts on that afternoon's meeting. When the conversation lulls, Jun clears his throat and asks, "So... should we get to it?"

Aiba laughs. "Would you like to?"

"I think I'm just gonna be nervous until we do," Jun admits.

Like a prince out of a fairytale, Aiba stands from the couch and offers his hand. "Well then, let's get to it."

**·**

They move to the bedroom, where a cardboard box has already been set on the middle of the bed. They sit on either side of it, just like they did all those years ago, but before Aiba opens the box, he asks, "Did you look up those things I mentioned?"

Jun nods. "They sound fine. But the pain... can we take it slow?"

"Of course." Aiba leans forward to hold one of Jun's hands. "If you need me to slow down, not just with that but with anything, if you need me to stop or do something different, if something doesn't feel good, if there's _anything_ on your mind, all you have to do is tell me." Jun nods, but he must look uncertain because Aiba takes his other hand and squeezes both. "I'm serious. As long as you're honest with me, I'm not going to be upset or disappointed. Got it?"

Jun squeezes back. "Got it."

The box is nothing fancy, just something Aiba must have had lying around and which happened to be the right size. He opens it up and lays everything out, one by one, on the bed between them. There's nothing missing, nothing new. It's all exactly as Jun remembers it, right down to the intimidating metal gleam of the handcuffs.

Aiba asks, "Which ones would you like to try? I have some ideas, but it's up to you."

Jun's not going to argue with that. The handcuffs make him think of Nino, so those go back into the box right away. The two rolls of tape go next, followed shortly by the gags. He's willing to try those, but he thinks they might be the kind of thing he needs to work up to. The metal clips on the chain go next, because even though there are only two of them, they somehow seem scarier than the clothespins.

Of everything that came out of that box, the four leather cuffs are the ones Jun has to think about the hardest. He can deal with not being able to see, and he can handle a little pain, but the thought of being held immobile, trapped... That's the most nerve-wracking of all. But when he looks up and sees Aiba smile, completely without judgment, he feels safe.

Two go back in the box; the other two stay out.

That leaves a pair of cuffs, the blindfold, the clothespins, and the little egg-shaped vibrator. Jun isn't sure if that's a lot or a little, but Aiba seems happy enough, so he decides it's a happy medium.

Aiba goes to shower first. Jun knows it's to give him time to rethink if he needs to, but the wait strengthens his resolve. Now that it's actually happening, he feels relieved and happy that he's finally about to share something with Aiba that he never got the chance to before. That he's now the _only_ one who gets to share this with Aiba makes it even better.

**·**

When Jun returns from his shower, Aiba is waiting for him on the bed. He's naked, his birthmark a pretty, copper-toned smudge under the dimmed light, and the toys they picked are laid out on the nightstand along with some lubricant and a bottle of water that's leaking condensation onto a coaster. Aiba smiles, as bright as always, and just that is enough to put Jun's frenzied pulse at ease.

"Are you ready for this?" Aiba asks when Jun joins him on the bed. "You haven't changed your mind?"

"Aiba-chan, seriously, do you _want_ me to back out?"

"Of course not." Aiba reaches up to put his hand on the back of Jun's neck, thumb stroking gently below his hairline. "I just want you to be happy."

Jun touches Aiba's arm, turning his head to dust a kiss over his skin. "I am happy," he says, and though he's still a bit nervous, it's the absolute truth.

With the hand on his neck, Aiba pulls Jun into a kiss. It's gentle at first, building slowly as Jun starts to relax. When Aiba pulls away after a few minutes, Jun breathes deeply and keeps his eyes closed, and does his best to stay calm as Aiba puts the blindfold on him, though he can't help the way his heartbeat spikes up. He tries to imagine that it's nothing more than keeping his eyes shut, but the feel of the leather against his skin, the pressure of it over his eyes, is a constant reminder. But Aiba keeps kissing him, reminding him that he's safe. Jun hones in on those reminders and on the way Aiba's arms and shoulders feel under his hands, the way Aiba's hands feel on his own skin.

When Aiba asks, barely above a whisper, "Are you ready for the next part?", Jun nods.

Aiba guides him to lie back until his head is resting comfortably on the pillows, then kisses him again before sitting up and leaning away. Aiba takes Jun's left arm, laying a kiss over the thin skin on the inside of Jun's wrist before wrapping the first leather cuff around it. He tightens it until it's snug but comfortable, checking with Jun to make sure it's okay, and then stretches Jun's arm out to the corner of the bed. Though Aiba's fingers aren't on him anymore, Jun can feel that Aiba is doing something to the cuff. He breathes slowly and focuses on what he's hearing: the metal parts of the buckle clicking together, the swish of fabric as Aiba ties something through the D-ring on the cuff and then fastens it to one of the rightmost spokes of Aiba's slotted headboard.

When Aiba finally moves away, finished, Jun tests it out and finds that his wrist is now tied securely.

"Okay?" Aiba asks, his fingers lacing through Jun's.

Jun nods again.

Aiba squeezes his fingers briefly, then moves on to repeat the process with Jun's left wrist.

When it's all said and done, Aiba scoots back, giving Jun time to get used to the feel of being restrained. Jun is grateful for the hand Aiba keeps on his stomach, a comforting reminder of Aiba's presence. He squirms to test his range; there's enough slack on the cuffs for him to bend his elbows a bit, but that's all. It puts him on edge to be this way, stretched out and vulnerable, but he concentrates on the warmth he can feel from Aiba's body and the way Aiba's hand has started moving, fingertips trailing down his stomach, to his hip.

"You look so hot right now," Aiba breathes, tickling farther down to brush the inside of Jun's thigh. "Are you all right? Is this okay?"

The thought of talking seems awkward somehow, so Jun just nods again.

As if he can hear Jun's thoughts, Aiba says, "You can talk if you want. Or don't. Whatever makes you comfortable." Before Jun has a chance to decide either way, Aiba kisses him again, using just a hint of teeth this time.

The kisses migrate down to Jun's jaw, then his throat. He swallows against the feel of Aiba's mouth and asks, "Do you want me to make noise?", and feels ridiculous, like they're teenagers all over again, each one trying to figure out what the other likes.

Aiba says again, "Whatever you want," then adds, "But yeah, I like noise."

He moves in closer, close enough that Jun can feel against his side that Aiba is already fully hard. He tries to get into it, but as Aiba keeps kissing his throat, he finds himself contemplating how weird it would be if he tried to be intentionally noisy. He's never really thought of himself as someone who gets particularly vocal during sex, but if it's what Aiba likes... Would Aiba know if he were faking it? Would Aiba even _want_ him to fake it? Would —

"I can feel you thinking in there," Aiba says, laughter in his voice, and then his teeth sink into the hard muscle of Jun's neck.

Jun jumps and gasps out a little " _Ah!_ " before he even realizes what's happened. All right, so apparently he won't have to worry about faking it.

Aiba keeps going, moving gradually lower as he lays kisses all over Jun's jaw, his throat, his chest, occasionally using teeth, not hard enough to really hurt but enough to make Jun squirm. Jun senses something in Aiba shift, evident in the way his touch becomes harder, the way his hips start rocking gently against Jun.

"Fuck." Aiba's breath ghosts over Jun's ribs. "You're so beautiful like this." His fingertips press into Jun's skin as his hands roam over Jun's chest, stomach, waist, hips. There's something almost reverent about the way Aiba is touching him and the way he comes back up to kiss Jun's mouth again and whisper against his lips, "So fucking beautiful."

Jun feels himself flush at the praise. He's starting to get hard.

As Aiba keeps going, Jun begins to feel less like he's restrained and more like he's lying back and letting Aiba lavish him with attention. By the time Aiba's hands make it back up to Jun's chest to thumb over his nipples, Jun has definitely gotten into it. He bites his lip to hold back a moan, remembering belatedly what Aiba said about noise, but he needn't worry for long; in the next moment Aiba ducks his head and bites right over one of Jun's nipples, drawing a startled yelp out of him.

Immediately after, Aiba sits up and moves away. Jun is imagining all the fingerprints Aiba has burned into his skin, still a little shell-shocked from the sudden bite, but he can tell from the way the bed moves that Aiba must be grabbing something from the nightstand. When he comes back and nudges Jun's legs apart to settle between them, Jun hears the unmistakable sound of the lube snapping open, followed by Aiba squirting some onto his hands and rubbing his palms together to warm it up.

When he finally touches Jun's cock, his hands are slick and hot and incredible. Jun feels like he's going to melt into the mattress. Aiba touches him everywhere, his dick, his balls, finally working a finger into his ass. Jun's instinct is to reach down and tangle his hands in Aiba's hair, and for the first time, he feels himself pulling at the cuffs. It's a startling reminder of how out of control he is, and for just a brief moment, a tendril of panic shoots through him. But Aiba keeps touching him, working a second finger inside, and it feels so good, and there's not a single person in the world whom Jun trusts more. So he lets go, relaxing into the unbreakable hold of the cuffs. It feels like sinking into a warm, inviting chasm, like he's floating down into a darkness where Aiba's skilled fingers are all he knows.

Aiba pulls away, and Jun hears himself whine. As far as he can tell, Aiba is just sitting there. Jun shifts restlessly, waiting and waiting for something to happen.

Then he feels something slip behind his balls, against his perineum — he has half a second to wonder what it might be before he remembers that little egg-shaped device — and then it turns on. He can't help but shout, leaning away out of instinct, but Aiba just presses forward, not letting him escape the sudden onslaught of sensation. The device moves, and then it's teasing him open, still vibrating noisily. He wants to scream, wants to shove it away, because it feels so good but it's just so _much_ , and then it's all the way in, guided by Aiba's fingers until it's pressing right up against his prostate.

He pulls desperately at the cuffs, unable to do anything else. He doesn't want it to stop but it's so much more than he knows what to do with, especially when Aiba wraps a slick hand around his cock again and begins jerking him in fast, sure strokes. He feels like he's going to jitter apart, he's sure his toes are curling, he _knows_ he's whimpering, and he can't even begin to rein in his reactions, can't even begin to _care_. Aiba keeps stroking his cock, and the device keeps humming torturously against his prostate. He's going to come any second now.

Somewhere in the overwhelmed jumble of his mind, he thinks, _But didn't Aiba say..._

Aiba retreats.

His fingers slip away, leaving the device inside Jun, still buzzing but not where Jun needs it most. Aiba's hand leaves Jun's dick entirely. Jun feels himself thrash as he shouts "No!", feels his hips tilting upward, seeking out some kind of contact where there is none.

Suddenly Aiba is kissing him — Jun didn't even realize Aiba had moved — and rubbing a soothing hand over his chest. Jun kisses back because it's all he can do; he wants so badly to get his hands in Aiba's hair, but the cuffs won't give. He has no idea what kind of noise he might be making, but Aiba keeps rubbing his chest and whispers, "Shh, Matsujun, you're okay. Do you want me to stop?"

Aiba's hands feel searing hot on his skin. His toes are still curled up, and that _thing_ is still vibrating inside of him, and he can barely think, let alone speak. He feels his orgasm slowly retreating, pulling back like a wave he wasn't quick enough to catch.

" _Jun._ " Aiba's voice yanks him back onto dry land. "Do you want to keep going, or do you want to stop? Either one is fine. I just need you to tell me."

It's like his whole body is throbbing with a want he is utterly helpless to satisfy.

He breathes out shakily, and he tells Aiba, "Keep going."

When Aiba kisses him one last time before pulling away, Jun can feel his smile.

The bed shifts as Aiba reaches again for something from the nightstand, his fingertips still on Jun and dancing slowly up his chest to stroke over his nipples. It feels good at first, but Aiba doesn't stop. He keeps going, stroking for a while, then pinching, each time just a little bit harder. When Jun starts trying to inch away from the touches, that's when Aiba hikes a leg over his hips and comes down to straddle his waist.

Something brushes over his left nipple that definitely isn't Aiba's fingers. Jun is startled before he remembers the clothespins, right as Aiba reminds him, "Let me know if it's too much."

Jun nods and tries to ignore the sudden memory of that man in the video, clutching the pole he was tied to and sobbing. He doesn't have to try for very long; when the unforgiving wooden clothespin clamps down on his left nipple, every last thought flies right out of his head.

He arches and grunts, more surprised than anything. It does hurt, but it's not excruciating. He's prepared now, and the pin that closes over his right nipple a few moments later isn't as much of a shock.

"So brave," Aiba says. His tone isn't mocking, only delighted.

Then he twists the clothespins.

Jun bucks underneath Aiba's weight, crying out. He wants to protect himself, to bat Aiba's hands away and cover his chest, but there's nothing he can do as Aiba keeps twisting the pins, sending out sparks of pain, sharp and relentless, with each turn. The vibrator is still working inside him, and although the continued pleasure makes the pain easier to handle, it's still a lot to take in.

After flicking one of the pins and making Jun curse, Aiba asks, "Is this okay?"

"It _hurts_ ," Jun snaps.

Aiba laughs. "Of course it hurts. But do you want me to stop?"

Jun huffs a breath of frustration, feeling his nipples throb each time his chest expands. "No," he mutters.

He is completely caught off guard by the clothespin that clamps down on the softest part of his left arm, right underneath his bicep. He yells out another curse and lurches so hard that he feels Aiba grab onto the headboard to stay put.

"If we do this again," Aiba says, his voice laced with wonder, "I'm gonna have to cuff your ankles, too."

Just the thought makes Jun whine.

He grits his teeth and his arms start to shake as Aiba keeps going, playing with the three clothespins, drawing noises out of Jun that he didn't even know he could make. His throat feels constricted and raw, as if Aiba has been reaching down to pull the noises out himself, and with the way Aiba's weight is settled over his stomach, it becomes difficult to catch his breath before long.

After a particularly brutal pull on one of his nipples, he finally wheezes, "Stop, stop — I can't, it's too much —"

Aiba's hands are gone before he's even finished saying the words. Aiba shifts his weight, giving Jun room to breathe, and leans down to gently kiss his mouth. "I'm sorry," he says, and "Thank you for telling me," and then: "I can take them off now, but it'll hurt. Can you handle that?"

Jun feels Aiba's hand move to grip his, their fingers slotted together. He nods and squeezes as hard as he can.

"You're doing so good," Aiba tells him. "Just breathe for me, okay? There you go, breathe in — good. Now out. In — and out. In —"

And then he unclips the pin on Jun's arm, followed quickly by the two on his nipples. The rush of blood back to the skin makes Jun yell out, and the pain makes him dizzy for just a second. In the next instant Aiba's hand is on his cock, soothing the pain by overwhelming his senses with pleasure. Aiba's fingers slip away from Jun's, moving to stroke his hair instead as Aiba whispers praise in his ear. He's still reeling, but somehow that makes the vibrator and Aiba's hand feel even more intense, like the battling sensations are all tangled up in his brain. The words of praise amplify it even more, until his eyes well up with tears of gratitude behind the blindfold and his chest tightens with frustration because he feels like he's floating, like he's so close to coming, and yet he knows what's going to happen next. Aiba just kisses him and keeps going.

As expected, Aiba delays his orgasm a second time, pulling back when Jun is just about to tumble over the threshold. Jun thinks he might end up sobbing like that man in the video after all.

Aiba's hands return to rub over Jun's chest, careful not to graze his nipples. He smooths his palms over Jun's chest, his stomach, down his sides, calming him more and more with each caress. Once Jun is breathing evenly again, Aiba asks him, in that smoky tone Jun can never get enough of, "Can you do one more for me?"

Jun feels like his voice is useless. All he can do is nod.

Aiba kisses his forehead and whispers, "I knew you could."

The vibrator, still buzzing after all this time, changes speed. Jun didn't even realize it could do that, but suddenly it's slower and even more maddening because now that the vibrations aren't all blending together, he can feel each one more strongly. He rocks his hips, knowing it's useless, and feels himself leak precome just like Aiba is doing as he ruts between Jun's thighs.

Aiba starts kissing him again, mouthing over his jaw and throat and clavicle, occasionally leaning down to lick or suck on a sore nipple and make Jun groan. Those worshipful hands are back, pressing along the softest parts of his waist and the hard lines of his ribs, all the places that make his senses ignite. It doesn't take very long for him to find himself back at the edge of an orgasm, not with the way Aiba is rubbing against him, touching him, kissing him. Finally Aiba takes him in hand again, and he shudders, anticipation and anxiety all wrapped up together.

"One more," Aiba reminds him, nipping at his jaw. "Just one more time, Jun. Tell me when to stop."

Aiba is squeezing him just right and stroking so fast, and Jun is already so close. He shakes his head desperately. "I can't —"

"Yes you can," Aiba insists. "You're doing so good. I know you can. Just tell me when." His other hand touches Jun's chest, stroking lightly before pinching one of Jun's nipples.

Jun cries out as the touch sparks across all his nerves, illuminating the lingering pain like a flash of lightning. He's close, so close, and it would be easy, _so_ easy, to lie, to not say anything, to pretend he couldn't tell. But then Aiba squeezes him on a downstroke and whispers how well he's doing, and when Jun is about to come, he clenches his fists and gasps, " _Stop._ "

Aiba unhands him, and Jun pulls so hard against the cuffs that the headboard creaks.

"F—fuck," he moans. He can feel himself trembling.

Aiba kisses his mouth, his cheeks, his forehead. "So good," he's saying, punctuating each phrase with another kiss. "You did so good, Jun."

The praise makes him feel giddy and proud. He thinks hazily that all of this is worth it just to hear Aiba say his name like that. He wishes he could see the way Aiba must be looking at him.

But Aiba's next words aren't so comforting.

"Since that was it, I guess I have to make this next part last, don't I?"

**·**

Aiba drags him right up to the edge and holds him there, keeping him hovering over the brink for as long as he can until Jun starts begging in earnest, sobbing on every other breath because he _can't take it anymore, Masaki, please, please._ When Aiba finally lets him come, with a hand on his cock and two fingers holding the vibrator against his prostate, it is one of the most intense orgasms Jun can remember ever having. Afterwards, Aiba leans over him and finishes himself off in record time, coming with a shivery moan onto Jun's stomach.

As the blindfold comes off, Jun feels a little bit like a newborn fawn — stumbling around on shaky limbs, emerging into a world that's different somehow from the one he's grown so used to. Aiba holds him and gives him sips of water until the trembling stops, then washes him off in the shower, rubs his wrists and arms and shoulders as they soak together in the bath. Once they've both dried off and gotten into their pajamas, they curl up on the couch around bowls of ice cream, which Aiba insists is an essential part of the recovery process.

"Don't make it sound like I just went through some traumatic experience," Jun scoffs, rolling his eyes, but the truth is that there's an uneasy, niggling feeling coiling tight in his stomach. He feels thoroughly sated from the incredible orgasm, but he also feels thoroughly drained, like he had a much-needed cry on top of it. When he thinks about it, he supposes that's actually pretty accurate.

They're halfway through their ice cream when Aiba asks, "So how was it?"

After a moment of consideration, Jun says, "It wasn't terrible."

Aiba makes Jun laugh by pretending to fall over. "Really, that's it? Not terrible?"

"I got into it," Jun admits. "At first it was kind of scary and weird being tied up like that, but in the end I liked the feel of lying back and letting you take over and make me feel good. And I liked the way you talked to me." Another difference, he thinks, between current- and past-Jun is that by now past-Jun would be red as a beet.

"And the pain?" Aiba prompts, already grinning.

"It... didn't really do anything for me. But I didn't _hate_ it, so if you're really into it..."

Aiba nods in understanding. "We'll make it work. And what about the orgasm denial?"

"Frustrating," Jun answers immediately. "And intense. I don't think I can do that all the time, but I can definitely do it again."

With his ice cream bowl in one hand, Aiba holds the other hand out to offer an invisible microphone. "Experiment result?"

Jun grins. "No regrets."

Aiba throws his fist into the air with a cheer, and Jun thinks that if for no other reason, it was all worth it just for this.

When Aiba lowers his arm, though, there's a particular smile on his face which Jun recognizes as a crystal-clear sign that the waterworks are about to begin. He stays quiet and leans closer, giving Aiba time to sort through it until he's ready to let it out.

"It's just," Aiba says a few minutes later, his voice wavering. "I really would have been happy, you know? If we never ever did this or spoke about it, that would have been okay, because I love you and that's all I really need. But to have you _and_ this..."

Jun reaches out to stroke Aiba's arm and says, "I understand," because sometimes that's all Aiba needs to hear.

But Aiba keeps going. "It's okay if you can't do any of it ever again — that you were willing to try it _once_ —"

That's when the tears overflow, and Jun sets their bowls onto the coffee table so he can pull Aiba into a hug. Aiba clutches at his shoulders, crying openly now.

Jun rubs Aiba's back and waits for the tears to slow a bit before he says quietly, "I'm sorry it took me so long."

When Aiba pulls back, his face is a total mess. His eyes are puffy and red, his cheeks are blotchy, and he's still the most beautiful person Jun has ever laid eyes on. "Don't apologize," he hiccups.

"I need to. I need you to know that I'm sorry it took so long for me to be ready for this, and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel —"

"Jun, you don't have to —"

"But I _do_ , I need you to know because sometimes all I can think about is how I was supposed to be your _partner_ but I just looked the other way, and if you ever thought for even a minute that you were a bad person because of it, I — I'll never forgive myself —"

Aiba pulls Jun into a bruising kiss. It's jolting, and slippery with their combined tears, and Jun is pretty sure Aiba only did it to shut him up. He takes comfort in it all the same.

When he finally pulls away to wipe his eyes, Aiba says, "I know I'm not a bad person. Honestly. It took a while for me to get it, but you never made it worse, you have to trust me about that. And I was never alone, either. Nino's a really good friend." Jun starts to respond, wanting to insist that it should have been _him_ , but Aiba cuts him off before he can finish. "If you still feel guilty about it," he says around a watery smile, "I can punish you."

Jun is caught off guard by the laughter that comes bubbling out of him. He swats Aiba over the head and huffs, "Idiot," then laughs again at the outrageous waggling of Aiba's eyebrows.

They fall into a comfortable silence after that, and as the uneasy coil in Jun's stomach loosens and fades, he thinks that maybe the newborn fawn comparison was a bit extreme. Some things have changed, sure, but for the most part this world is the same as it always has been: hectic and draining and nearly impossible to catch up with if he falls behind, but in the end it all comes down to the two of them, Matsujun and Aiba-chan, Crybaby Team, relaxing together after a tiring day, laughing and dragging their spoons through bowls of melted ice cream as tears dry on their cheeks.

Jun sips a spoonful of liquefied rocky road and says, "My nipples are sore."

Aiba's laughter sounds more happy and genuine than it has all day.

**∞**

On the 30th, Arashi celebrates as a group — only the best for a milestone birthday of their youngest member. They get as wild as a bunch of exhausted thirty-somethings who work bright and early the next morning can, which means that when Jun unlocks his apartment door at the end of the night, with Aiba hanging off him like a clingy pet, they're still mostly sober.

Jun sets his bag of gifts down in the living room and heads to the kitchen for a glass of water, then to the bedroom, Aiba in tow the whole way. As Aiba flops onto the bed, Jun hangs his jacket up and asks, "Now where's this special present you keep talking about?"

"It's in my pants," Aiba says huskily, wiggling his hips at Jun and completely failing to suppress a grin. "Oh, but I forgot to wrap it! You'll have to get naked for that part."

"You are vulgar," Jun says, but he's laughing along.

He joins Aiba on the bed, and for a while they make out lazily, comfortably, content just to be in each other's presence after a busy day. Layers of clothing get pulled off one by one. Neither of them is in a rush. When Jun finally gets his hand around Aiba's dick, he pulls back from their kiss and fakes a surprised gasp. "Aiba-chan, I think I found your present."

"Ah, you did! So clever, Matsujun."

They laugh together and go back to kissing, but it's not long before Jun pulls away again. "Actually," he says, "I got you something too."

"Oh really," Aiba sing-songs, clearly expecting another dick joke.

Jun turns around to reach underneath the bed — graciously deciding not to retaliate when Aiba lands a playful smack on his ass — and returns with an elegantly wrapped gift box, long and slender like the kind a fancy necktie might come in.

Aiba accepts it almost hesitantly, real shock showing on his face. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. Open it."

The silky black ribbon wrapped around the box comes undone easily when Aiba tugs on one of the ends. He gingerly lifts the top and pushes aside the veil of crinkly tissue paper, and lying inside is a bundle of black nylon rope, coiled neatly and soft to the touch.

"Jun..." Aiba looks up, his eyes huge. He keeps glancing back and forth between the rope and Jun's face. "I don't know what to say."

Jun gives his shoulder a playful shove. "Just don't start crying on me."

Aiba doesn't cry. He pulls Jun into a kiss, a little harder than usual and edged with teeth, but it's exactly what they both want.

**·**

The next time Jun peeks into the bottom drawer, he finds that the rope has been lovingly placed inside, right next to all their other toys. 

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate titles:  
> → Yes Jun Likes What You Like  
> → I Wanna Be Useful  
> → Kitto Make It Better  
> → Put Your Hands Up, Party People
> 
> Now that this fic is done, I can move on with my life (and my exchanges)!! But I'm certain there will be more stories in this universe, at least as many as there are toys in Aiba's drawer~


End file.
